Public Confession

I initially didn't want to join the AMEN 2nd Annual Convention and Mission trip because I felt that it was just waste of money. It would be more than a week-long engagement. And I felt like I could still do ministry even as I work in my private practice and that I would even have the benefit of earning money to pay the bills.

Again, like Jonah, who wanted to go to Tarsish, but God wanted me in Nineveh instead and He has another plan for me.
I knew a part of me was still hesitant and even worried if the air-conditioning would be good, if I would be able to get a goodnight's rest sleeping for days not inside the comfort of my own room, or if there would be a lot of mosquitoes... Yes, I worried about the petty stuff. And I was arrogant.

There was even some point during the mission trip that I still felt unworthy. I texted my mom and said, "Ma, I feel like I don't belong because I am sinful." Her reply made me teary-eyed.  "God sees your heart and knows best, anak. When we are weak or we feel insufficient, the more we know of how we need God. You are there because He made it possible. Just accept His spiritual blessings and accept that like Moses, you are insufficient, but just pray that you can endure this and be selfless. I hope you appreciate what God has given you and be grateful for it. It is not an accident you are there. You just wanted to travel but more than that, He wants you to have a spiritual encounter with Him. Accept Him and the Holy Spirit in your life. I will pray for you."

This is also the reason I broke down during the United Prayer in Guimaras during one of the worship services. I thank the Lord for never giving up on me... for softening my stone-cold heart. I am grateful to have been able to listen to the testimonies from other healthcare professionals being used by the Lord in the ministry of healing and be a part of this mission trip with God-loving and God-fearing people who have the same desire to be more like Jesus. I realized that it was a much needed break from my worldly cares but most of all, it was an opportunity to renew my heart and surrender my life to the Lord. And no amount of money could ever compare to a life spent with the Lord... It is priceless.
#AMEN2019

Psalm 36:5-11
Matthew 16:26